The recent Gillette commercial, unveiled a few weeks ago, was a landmark event in human history. It was a way to show the male gender exactly what they were doing wrong, and showed that if they didn’t change their ways, they’ll forever be condemned as Schick-using neanderthals.
But as the weeks have gone by, it’s time we asked ourselves whether shaving brands have a duty to spread the light of progress into other areas of high toxicity. No longer a simple brand of shavers, the Gillette brand is now a symbol of change, progress and hope for all of us in these dark times.
Which leads us to the topic of seal clubbing. This form of clubbing, which has traditionally been a part of Canadian culture since the forming of the Americas (probably, I didn’t do any research for this article) is a supposedly barbaric practice which kills tens of thousands of young seal cubs each year. So far luckily, it’s not an issue which any brands want to get behind – after all, the killing of young seal cubs is never a bad thing in itself (they’d do the same thing to us if they had the chance). Similarly, there are those in the public sphere who would argue that clubbing is a harmless activity if you use the variant definition, an all-night clubbing event for rebellious young seal cubs, which to me sounds quite amusing and enticing. But this is merely a question of semantics, because I’m not referring to an all-night clubbing event, am I? I’m referring to murdering baby seals with clubs.
Now admittedly Gillette is, according to PETA, known to test its shaving products on animals. This is something which to certain pedantic people on the progressive-leaning side of politics, may see as bad thing. But I have faith that in 2019, we’ve moved past such trivial concerns and have learned to focus on what is actually, you know. Important.
Gillette, test away. The best men can be is to turn their toxic glances away from the baby seal bloodbath of progress and to admit that maybe, just maybe, their concern for animals is merely yet another deeply-entrenched instance of white male privilege.
The annual harp seal hunt takes place in Canada this year starting November 15th. Book tickets now.